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For our inaugural CNET online dating advice column, we explore just how the hell you’re supposed to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger on Tinder. Greetings, friends. Welcome to CNET’s online dating advice column by me — Erin Carson, staff reporter, resident young-enough-person, refrigerdating correspondent , curator of odd stuff on the internet , most likely to leave you on “read.

You might be wondering why you should pay any attention to what I have to say about online dating. First off, I’ve been happily married for 10 years. I’m out there just like everyone else, a machete in one hand, pocket knife between my teeth, hacking through the dating wilderness, wondering how this all happened, and why I didn’t pack bug spray.

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We set you up with attractive new women every month. We take over your online dating profile. We make introductions on your behalf. We suggest a meet, and get her number. The rest is up to you You love the promise, and idea of convenience. From the time consuming, tedious messages that result in dead-ends, to the intimidating number of thirsty suitors competing for her attention. Online dating enables attractive women to be almost impossibly selective, and act like A. D flakes at the slightest misstep.

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Want to make your online dating profile stand out from the rest? Check out these tips to help create a profile that future matches won’t be able to.

Are you tired of wondering Why am I not getting the matches that I know I’m capable of? Why doesn’t anyone message me back? Will I ever actually find a quality date online? Then it happens. New notification. New match. New wave of excitement. She’s hot! He’s gorgeous! OMG – I’m reading their profile, and they are exactly the type of person I’ve been looking for!

I need to send the ‘perfect’ message. I can’t lose this one. I need to say something witty.

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And then Tinder came along, completely taking any sort of lengthy effort out of online dating and stripping it to its even more bare minimum.

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